Finding the Courage to Follow Your Dream

Today I want to share a story of a new client who has a big dream. A big dream that she’s ignoring. And, she’s stuck. We’re at the beginning of our work together, and who knows where her journey will lead? Thing is, parts of her story could be so many of ours, when we finally find the courage to whisper to another person our deepest, most hidden dreams.

The fear of failure can be a strong motivator to keep us from going for our dreams. Take my client — let’s call her Sarah — who is struggling with the debilitating fear of facing yet another disappointment, another rejection along the path of her dream. In fact, she has done much to run from those dreams, including a move to another city, switch jobs, relationships and more.

Sarah attends workshops, seminars and other events. Each time, she walks away with a sense of bittersweet disappointment. For herself. She should be the one speaking on her topic. She could be the one that has a book about it. But her fear of rejection and failure is so strong it keeps her frozen.

The truth is, when we go for our dreams, there are risks. Failure, rejection and disappointment – to name a few. There are fears we have to face so we can move forward. Those fears may show up in the stories we tell ourselves and others. The question is not if there are risks, but what are we willing to do with those risks.

We may rationalize our dreams away, as Sarah is doing. She calls it being practical and sensible. After all, she wants to “earn a good living, and who can make money on their dreams?” So, she settles. Or so she thinks. But her dream won’t stay buried for long. It keeps coming up – whether she is sitting in a seminar or trying to avoid the book that is cluttering her computer, her desk, her mind and her heart.

What would have to shift in order for Sarah to realize her dreams? Right now she is immobilized by her fear of failure. Of course, the sad irony is that by not going for her dreams, she is already failing.

Sarah is looking at her world from an OR perspective. She either follows her dream OR she is practical and avoids the pain of failure and rejection that her dream has given her in the past.

What would shift if she were to adopt an AND perspective, I wonder? What if she were to lean in to her dream AND find a job that supports that dream, while putting food on the table and a roof over her head? What if the practical solution could fuel her dreams?

Sarah constantly rejects her dream, only to have it come back stronger than before. And yet, right now, she is still stuck. She thinks she is being sensible,  while listening to those around her, as well as her own inner critic. The messages keep her playing small. Or not playing at all. She isn’t moving forward on the practical solutions either at this point. Of course, how much motivation is there for settling for what you don’t love and what doesn’t make  you happy?

Sarah’s journey is hers to make. And, as her coach, I know we have a lot of good work ahead of us. Exciting discoveries to make. She can be as bold and fearless as she chooses. She can move into her dream, or reject it. She can even allow herself to build a new dream…

There is a little bit of Sarah in many of us, yes? The question just might be when are we going to stop being afraid and move boldly in the direction of our own dreams?